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GORUCK Challenge Toronto 2012 - Part 2

We take off at a comfortable jogging pace, still trying to maintain two lines. It’s the prom weekend, and semi-drunk teenagers decked out in lilac dresses and cheap tuxedos are quite amused. We get a couple of “I-officially-declare-you-weird” honks.

The theme of this mission is zombie apocalypse, and we are directed to not engage the drunk zombies, the homeless zombies or the excessively friendly zombies for the duration of the mission. Noted. Cadre artfully deals with all those creatures as the night unfolds.

Two team leaders are designated. Our first task is to locate a certain individual in a certain garage on a certain intersection. The identifier is the red Fiat. I get lost in the details quickly. In fact, it takes me pretty much until the very end of the mission to clue in who we are supposed to be, and which characters we are looking for at what time. Once we finally reach our destination, this delightful wardrobe transformation occurs:

Photo – compliments of Goss, who stuck with us FOR THE WHOLE NIGHT (go, team Trifecta!). I say that this photo alone was worth it, because if these shorts were not captured on film, it would be a tragedy. A TRAGEDY, I tell you.

We reach the target individual, who magically turns out to be cadre, and learn about our next task. We are off to a building site. Something tells me we are not leaving that building site empty-handed.

We are at the right place… Our watches were taken at some point, so the only thing I know is that it’s Saturday. And it’s late. New team leaders are chosen. We need to get a couple of sweet-looking logs from the dumpster – buried under more logs. Obviously.

I get rid of my backpack (which is allowed as long as backpacks are held by someone else), and start digging out the first log. Couple of guys join me.

We leave the building site with two new (and heavy) friends, as well as a bucket of rocks for good measure.

The logs are not too heavy, but are incredibly uncomfortable. It almost becomes a mental challenge, as it is so frustrating to keep changing positions and grips, as we are trudging along…

The festivities continue as cadre whips out a Sponge Bob Squarepants speakers (I almost wish I was joking), and puts on “Call On Me” video. Tights, headbands and glistening glutes are plentiful – cadre and his shorts fit right in.

We press whatever weight we are carrying over our head for the duration of the song, as cadre and the Canadian flag are gyrating around with alarming proficiency.

After another lengthy trek, we reach a soccer field. Cadre uses pieces of pretzel to give a little strategy lesson on how to surround the enemy.

In groups of three, we crouch on wet grass, and run towards “the enemy”, widening the grip and eventually surrounding him completely.

It’s getting lighter…


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