I was supposed to be on a plane heading to Delhi, India in less than a week. I was registered in a ten day silent meditation retreat – completely off the grid. That’s the trip I’ve been looking forward to for the last nine years.
India cancelled all tourist visas last week.
The trip is off.
I spent half of the day in bed. Moping. Drinking red wine. Eating… I can’t even remember what I was eating. Expressing my frustrations to Italian (and AT Italian). Swearing. Thinking and saying how incredibly unfair life is. And poor me.
You can grieve cancellations.
There is a whole lot of disappointment right now.
I am going to pause, and step away from the medical realities of the virus for just a tiny moment. Away from the spreading statistics, and the risk factors, and closing borders. I am going to refrain from “it could be worse” and “people are dying” comments. It COULD be worse. And people ARE dying.
But just for a second, I am pausing to grieve the simple human joys many of which got cancelled in the last few weeks. Hockey games. Concerts. Weddings. Birthday parties. Meditation retreats.
It is ok not to look for silver lining right away. Not to focus on the positive. And to not count your blessings.
It’s ok to JUST grieve something.