Bring baby into the bathroom, place on the floor. Close the door, take your clothes off. Place toilet paper holder, toilet brush and garbage can into the bathtub. Place a yellow duckie, a race medal and few more random objects in front of baby. Take at least one or two random objects with you into the shower, so you can hand them to baby on demand. Step into the shower, turn the water on. Do not turn back to baby. When you squeeze the last of the shampoo on your head, immediately rinse the bottle and prepare to hand it to baby. This may buy you enough time to wash the left side of your body. While washing your hair, don’t close your eyes for too long. Three or four seconds at a time is about right. Watch another clump of your hair go down the drain. Contemplate shaving the little hair that is left on your head off. Squat on the floor, open the shower door, pull on the bathroom rug with baby on it towards you, so you can remove the dust bunny from baby’s mouth, and hand baby an empty shampoo bottle instead. Wash the left side of your body. Leave the right side of your body unwashed, because the baby is now eating the bathroom rug. Step out of the shower, trying not to step on baby, who is now licking the glass door. Try to remember to wash the right side of your body tomorrow. #achievementunlocked #newskills #50percentclean #thisis7months #operationmommy
Hugs, SOLO
Comments