This week I have two things for you:
my most recent musings on travelling with small children, and
more information as promised on how you can take me up on a 30-min coaching session.
Last week I watched the most beautiful sunset of my life today. Then I realized that my baby was eating bird poop, so I panic-raced to the house to wash her mouth out. Then I got head butted in the crotch by my toddler. Then I cried on the couch.
It was really a lovely day up to that point. The pinks and oranges bloomed over the skyline, my toddler splashed water on the pool steps. And the baby sat by my lounge chair in front of a small pile of Cheerios I thoughtfully arranged in front of her, in hopes of five minutes of peace and quiet, so I could enjoy that goddamn sunset. Then I realized that the baby was a little bit… too quiet, and … well, you already know how that ends.
Travel is different these days.
Or, is it?
I mean… sure, travel is different. But everything is different. Working is different, sleeping is different, having dinner is different. My boobs are different, for god’s sake, and those are attached to me.
If all I ever focused on was what’s different, I’d be forever paralyzed in this new mothership dimension, plugged into my children. I’d never leave the house.
The key is where you draw attention at any given moment.
After I had my first child, the very first time I got on a plane by myself was to go to Hawaii to do a CrossFit certification. Not exactly next door. I distinctly remember feeling resentful at being so tired by the time I got to my hotel. I mean… I traveled ALONE! Without an infant! I didn’t have to hold or feed anyone the entire way there! So, how dare I still be tired after a 14-hour commute? A fourteen hour commute is undeniably easiER without kids. That part is different. But, kids, or not kids - a fourteen hour commute is tiring. That part is the same.
Everything is different, AND everything is the same.
I consider this my superpower - to take two things - ANY two things - and reflect on how they are both the same and different. “But… you can’t compare those two things!”, the peanut gallery yells. Of course, you can.
Comparing does not mean equating.
Comparing does not mean invalidating or ignoring the differences.
Everyone’s experience is both unique AND universal.
Instinctively, we tend to focus on differences. Differences are… well… different. Easier to notice. More jarring, more in your face. More obvious. Except if all we focus is on differences, we can stay in place forever. Never leave the house, because everything outside is different. Never meet a new person, because they are different.
The more we are stuck on the uniqueness of things and people, rather than their commonalities, the more alone we can feel.
You know THE most comforting thing ever about parenting? Like the thing that lets me sleep at night? It’s the fact that so very many people have done this before me. They had children before me, and loved them very much before me, and fed them, and figured out bedtime, and washed bird poop out of their mouths. It’s all been done before, and any struggle or issue I experience will be perfectly unoriginal, and, my goodness, there is so much comfort in that.
So, yes, many things are the same. My home is the same. My coffee in the morning is the same.
And traveling IS the same in many ways. It’s still chaos. It’s stressful. Sweaty. And fresh ceviche tastes just as amazing as it did before children.
Let Me Coach You
In my last newsletter I mentioned that I'd give you more info about how you can learn more about this coaching thing! You probably know I coach, or you heard I coach, or you might be a coach. How does this work exactly? Is it... like therapy? (No.) Does it hurt? (Sometimes. Just being honest...) Is it helpful? (Very. Really.) I have recently offered a free 30-min coaching session to a small group of humans - to connect, AND to showcase how much amazing can be accomplished in thirty minutes. If you are receiving this email, AND have never been coached by me, I'm offering the same to you. If you want to take me up on the offer, hit Reply in the next week (by Tuesday, February 15th), and say "I'm in!". I'll bring all of my coaching brilliance to the table, as we problem solve through something you are currently trying to figure out. Some questions that we tackled in these 30-min sessions recently: - I want to improve my health, but don't know where to start. It feels like I should change everything at once! - I am starting to feel a little icky about my current relationship with alcohol. Now what? - I know I want to raise my prices, but I am terrified that all of my clients will leave me once I do. SAY YES. I am looking forward to talking to you soon.