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Thug Kitchen (Book Review) And The Art Of Swearing In The Kitchen

Swear words make everything better. Even books.

They are kind of like squats that way.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Consider this little gem:

It looks like a book for kids, but it’s not a book for kids. It is very much adult. The book cover describes it as profane, loving and deeply cathartic, and reminds that you probably shouldn’t read it to your children.

Who is the audience?

Disgruntled parents.

It is a chance to laugh for a niche market.

Here it is read by Stephen Fry. Yes, THE Stephen Fry.

Tag line – Eat like you give a fuck. Food so good we swear by it.

I was skeptical about this cookbook. It just sounded so… gimmicky. A little bit like that new teargas obstacle that Tough Mudder rolled out recently. Are you thinking… WTF? Exactly. You may enjoy this cookbook.

First of all, if you want to get this book, follow my advice and order it online. It took me two weeks and four bookstores to actually hunt down a hard copy.

Why not just order it online, you say?

The first store I visited was sold out, and I just got curious. The faces of salespeople, as I asked for this book, were priceless. They all seemed to say: “You are kidding, right? We haven’t had a copy in stock for weeks." Let’s just say, many many people got this book as a Christmas present.

Although I probably would not get it for my mom. Or, you know... Grandma. Mostly, because she does not speak English.

Hold the fuck up, where’s the meat?

Yes, you heard right. It’s a vegan cookbook. No animal products in the recipes at all. Funny enough… you may not even notice. The recipes are filling, and full of bright ingredients.

What the fuck does organic mean?

And other pieces of wisdom are scattered throughout the book. It discusses simple ways of making homemade dressing, and outlines the most important kitchen tools you must have on hand in order to get this fucking party started. Or at least that’s what I imagine the authors would say.

Try not to lick the fucking page. It tastes nothing like the recipe.

In other words, every page has a photo. I am a big, big fan of cookbooks like that. In fact, I refuse to use cookbooks that do not have an image for every single recipe. So what, if MY version looks nothing like the actual image, and better resembles one of infamous Pinterest fails.

Here’s a sampling:

  1. Quit fucking with that tired-ass takeout. You can make better shit at home in no time.

  2. Mixing peanut butter with cabbage might sound kinda fucked, but it’s delicious.

  3. When beets are bad, they are really fucking gross. But roasted, these motherfuckers get sweet and delicious. Trust.

  4. Couscous? Oranges? Cinnamon? In a savory dish? Go on, try that shit. We fucking dare you.

  5. Millet might look like birdseed, but it packs a shitton of heart-healthy magnesium and it’s cheap as hell.

  6. Who the fuck wouldn’t like fried bread served with some maple syrup and fresh fruit? This shit sells itself.

And, finally, my favourite:

"We don’t understand why eating real, healthy food has to be such a BIG F*CKING DEAL”.


Bottom line:

The actual message is awesome – stop relying on the microwave and processed ready to go meals. Eat like you give a fuck.

I’m all for swearing (as I’m sure you know), however, the language in the cookbook does start to sound forced after twenty pages or so. The language seems to be used for shock value alone? It’s a bit like a joke that is no longer funny after the first time you tell it.

Yet… you know what the funny thing is? I can think of at least three people in my social circle who would totally get a kick out of this book. And you can probably think of few people in your circle also. That’s the point. The authors found the niche.

As the saying goes, it’s what you say, not how you say it.

Happy cooking.





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