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How Long Have You Been At It? Being An-Ok Mom, Packing Raincoats, And Sucking At Soccer

Hey, Friend!

The other day I was disproportionately pleased with myself, when it started raining on my drive home from daycare drop off. You see, it was a nice morning when we left for daycare. Sunny, clear, dry. NICE, dammit. T-shirt weather. No rain in sight.

Buuuuuuuut, I managed to check the weather forecast before we left, and find out that there was 100% chance of rain later that day, AND pack raincoats, and rain boots for the children.

This felt like a big deal, because packing all the things for all the occasions is far from given for me. I have shown up to daycare with my children wearing light sweaters, realizing that all the other children were dressed in snowsuits (yep, for real). It was one of those looks-way-nicer-than-it-is days in April, and I haven’t checked the actual temperature outside.

Oh yeah. I was happy to see that rain. Smiling from ear to ear.

The rain gave me a chance to feel prepared, to feel like I had my shit together that day - even though there were Cheerios on the floor and a full sink of dishes.

F-you, rain!

My kids have raincoats. HA!

In a mom-to-mom conversation, a friend tells me that she thinks of herself as a “good mom”. I agree. I think she is a good mom too.

“I think I’m an ok mom”, I respond.

She’s about to object, but I raise my palm, and explain.

“I don’t feel particularly bad about it. I’ve only been at it for like what… not even four years?”.

I have also started playing soccer for the first time in my life a month ago, and I can tell you that I officially suck at soccer. No idea what I’m doing. Mostly running around the field, and being as annoying as possible to the players on the other team (and sometimes, on my team).

I am way better at various other things - writing, coaching, driving, exercising, even cooking (!) - than I am at being a mother, and at playing soccer. Mostly because I’ve been at those things for wayyyy longer.

We do get better at things the more we do them.

Practice, and all that.

If we have been at something for a long time, we are probably better at it than we realize.

If we have been at something for a short time, we are probably worse at it than we realize.

Am I good at X? Am I bad at Y?

How have you been at it? How long have you done the thing? Practiced it, read about it? Did it? Worked on it? Sucked at it? Got better at it? Failed and failed and failed? Got better, and failed some more?

Today, I’m an ok mom (who nevertheless managed to pack her kids raincoats). And I suck at soccer.

I will be better at both of these things in a year.

You will be better at the things YOU are actively working on as well. Promise.



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