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I Couldn’t Afford Therapy

Hi, Friend.

The first time I decided to get therapy, I couldn’t afford it.

It was 2am, and I was feverishly Googling for JUST the right person to help me. 

  • They needed to specialize in disordered eating, anxiety and body image. 

  • They needed to focus on present-time solutions, not healing my inner child.

  • They needed to have a PhD. 

[Trust me, I have loosened up significantly since then, but at the time, these criteria felt crucial.]

Well, I found her.

She was perfect.

She also charged $225 per session.

That was 10% of my MONTHLY pay cheque at the time.

I most definitely could not afford it.

I most definitely needed it.

I have decided to set it up as an experiment - if you know me, you know I like experiments. Framing something as a temporary trial run calms my brain. We set a deadline, we collect data, we assess and re-assess.

I was going to put $1,000 towards this.

Yes, it was going on my credit card, but I would be able to pay it off within a few months, teaching some extra yoga classes on the side.

That bought me FOUR sessions.

If I wasn’t going to see any improvement, I was going to quit right there and then, cut my losses and move on with my life, my binging, and my fucked up body image.


I ended up seeing that therapist on and off for the next ten years.

So… yeah. It helped. I don’t know where I would be today, if I didn’t decide to TRY.

This is NOT me saying “if this is important to you, you should make it work!’" I had plenty of privilege at the time - not everyone can just set aside $1,000 to try out therapy. 

This IS me saying… I know that while winter is free, and struggling with winter is free, getting help is usually not. 

If there is a way for me to make help more accessible, I’d like to do just that.



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